1996/01/01 by Susan Murray, John G. Holmes, Dale W. Griffin · 12 citations
Psychology · Social Sciences · #Cognitive and psychological constructs research #Cognitive psychology #Evolutionary Psychology and Human Behavior #Idealization #Illusion #Interpersonal attraction #Psychology #Psychology of Social Influence #Social psychology
paper · doi:10.1037/0022-3514.70.1.79
openalex publication_date 1996/01/01 · openalex created_date 2025/10/10 · openalex updated_date 2026/08/04
It is proposed that satisfaction is associated with idealistic, rather than realistic, perceptions of one's partner. To provide baselines for assessing relationship illusions, both members of married and dat-ing heterosexual couples were asked to rate themselves and their partners on a variety of interper-sonal attributes. Participants also rated the typical and ideal partner on these attributes. Path analy-ses revealed that individuals ' impressions of their partners were more a mirror of their self-images and ideals than a reflection of their partners ' self-reported attributes. Overall, intimates saw their partners in a more positive light than their partners saw themselves. Furthermore, these idealized constructions predicted greater satisfaction. Individuals were happier in their relationships when they idealized their partners and their partners idealized them. Taken together, these results suggest that a certain degree of idealization or illusion may be a critical feature of satisfying dating and even marital relationships. In the case of love, realities model themselves enthusiastically on one's desires... it is the passion in which violent desire is most completely satisfied. (Beyle Stendhal, De L'Amour) As Stendhal's musings in De L'Amour illustrate, people im-