2026/07/21 by Alicia Denby, Jenny van Hooff
Psychology · Social Sciences · #Attachment and Relationship Dynamics #Intergenerational Family Dynamics and Caregiving #Identity, Memory, and Therapy
paper · doi:10.1177/00380385261454124
This article develops a conceptual framework to examine the enduring influence of the couple norm in single and partnered lives. We introduce the concept of the couple paradox to show how the couple norm operates as both an affective attachment and an absent form. Drawing on Berlant’s concept of ‘cruel optimism’ and Scott’s ‘sociology of nothing’, and analysing life story interviews with 28 single and 18 partnered participants across two qualitative studies, we show how people remain oriented towards fantasies of the ‘good life’ that are structurally difficult to realise. Bridging sociological research on singlehood and coupledom, we find that both partnered and single people retain hope that coupledom will bring about a better future, even when the relationship obstructs flourishing in the present. We conclude that the couple norm marginalises those outside it, whilst simultaneously creating pressures and disappointments for those within it.